Imagine with me a 15-year-old girl who realized yesterday that she has not had her cycle for two months in a row. When she tells her boyfriend, he readily steps up to pay for her abortion. When the girl protests, he gives her an ultimatum. Get the abortion, or you are on your own. He has plans that do not include raising a child. Responsibility for taking care of a baby is placed solely on a 15-year-old girl who has not yet graduated high school, who makes very little money as a server, and whose parents told her not too long ago not to come to them if she got herself in trouble. What choice does she really have? The choice is made for her.
She makes the appointment at the women’s center for the following week. As she arrives at the consultation, pro-life protesters hold up signs with mutilated baby parts, screaming that she is murdering her baby. A lady with a bullhorn continues the barrage, shaming the young woman as she enters the building.
The appointment itself is the most traumatic experience she has ever had. No one sits with her. When it is over, her boyfriend pulls the car around, and again she is met by the barrage of protesters screaming out their message. She is physically weak and emotionally wrecked. Her boyfriend really has no patience for the details of what she has gone through. She cannot tell her parents, and she is too ashamed to tell her friends. She buries the pain inside and tries to go on the best she can. In her heart, she feels she had no other choice, but why does she have so much regret?
Two doors down from the women’s center where that young woman sat is a pregnancy resource center. From the window, the advocates saw her step inside. They began to pray intensely that she might choose life for her child. When she came out, they prayed again that she might find safe people to talk to about what had happened, and ultimately, healing and restoration through Jesus. The young woman has many years ahead of her, many decisions to make, and many more difficulties to face. She will need Jesus. Where will she find Him, though? Will she go to the church whose members held the signs outside of the women’s center? How could those people ever love her after what she has done?
Abortion is a complicated issue in our society with no easy answers. I am one of those advocates who looks out the window at the women’s center two doors down, grieving over the babies whose lives are lost in that building. But I also grieve for the women who think they have no choice but to go there. And I grieve for the emotional overwhelm they face as they make that torturous journey into that building. Finally, I grieve for those who think they are helping by holding signs and yelling their slogans. And then I pray, trusting that God can do what only He can do with such sorrow, pain, and brokenness. I pray for the young woman, that she will find healing and restoration in Jesus. I pray that she will find a loving church community who will help her in that journey. I pray that she will one day thrive in marriage and motherhood with a man who will treat her the way she deserves.
I am thankful for pregnancy resource centers and those who find their way into those buildings. For those who think they have no choice but to have an abortion, many are overwhelmingly relieved to find compassion and support for their pregnancy and parenting journey. Pregnancy resource centers provide so much more than help in deciding to choose life. They provide parenting classes, a way to earn diapers, clothes, and baby supplies, and a community where they can share their burdens, fears, and hopes for the future.
What do those standing on the sidewalks protesting abortions offer to those young women? How do their efforts help those already overwhelmed with fear, shame, and regret? While there are a rare few who only pray silently, I am sad to report that it is not the majority. My front-row seat has been an eye-opening look into the sidewalk vigilante movement. It is not a pretty picture, and things need to change if we want real change. The best way to make abortion unthinkable is to offer real hope, tangible help, and compassionate healing to those who disagree with you. It is part of Jesus’ command to love our neighbors as He has loved us.
This post is a little outside of my normal devotional style, but I do pray it starts the conversation on what churches could be doing to help make abortion unthinkable. Laws do not change hearts; Jesus does. How churches engage those with whom they disagree matters. Prayerfully, things will change one life at a time.
His Song in the Night 