Her story is one of the most unsettling stories in all of the Bible. Tamar had a husband so wicked, the Lord “slew” him according to Genesis 38:7. The cultural requirement of the day called for his brother to marry her and give her a child that would carry on her first husband’s name. However, he decided he would not have a child in his brother’s name. The Bible straightforwardly accounts the narrative.
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also. Genesis 38:9-10.
Not only was Tamar a widow once, but now twice. Given the wickedness of both men, it is unlikely she had enjoyed a happy marriage with either one. With no husband or children, her future, too, looked bleak. However, her father-in-law promised that she could marry his youngest and only remaining son when he was old enough. Sadly, though, when the time came for marriage, the youngest was allowed to marry someone else, and Tamar was left confused and alone.
In her desperation, Tamar designed a plot to trick Judah, the father of her dead husbands, into giving her a child. After his wife died, Judah went to visit a friend in another town. Tamar dressed as a harlot by the roadside, and Judah did not recognize her as his daughter-in-law. As the story unfolded, Tamar secured a pledge of payment from Judah, and he handed over his staff, bracelets, and signet ring to her until a goat from his flock could be sent. When he did, no one could find the person he described. When Tamar’s pregnancy was found out, Judah planned to have her killed for being unfaithful to his dead sons. However, Tamar’s forethought spared her. She brought out Judah’s jewelry and staff, and he recognized his involvement in the whole messy situation.
And Judah acknowledged them, and said, She hath been more righteous than I; because that I gave her not to Shelah my son. And he knew her again no more. Genesis 38:26
The wonder of this story is that Tamar’s twin sons, Pharez and Zarah, are listed in the genealogy of King David (Ruth 4:12) and later, of Jesus. Tamar, spelled as Thamar, is listed by name in Matthew 1:3. Though Tamar was likely a Gentile, and even though her story was quite scandalous, God saw fit to list her name among Jesus’ ancestors. It signifies God’s familiarity with the brokenness of this world. It also highlights His concern for the way women were often used and discarded as nothing more than property throughout human history.
What humans dismiss, God values.
Though the Bible never specifically mentions the faith of Tamar, it is clear that she waited for Judah to keep his promise to her. When he did not, she still believed there could be another way. Her story represents the beauty from ashes God can bring out of the worst life has to offer. Romans 8:28 could have been her life’s verse.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
The story of Tamar offers hope to the messiest situations life can bring. It reminds us that God can redeem any broken heart. He can bring beauty out of the ashes of life’s disappointments. And he sees, knows, cares, and helps anyone who comes to Him.
Your story may not be as desperate or as broken as Tamar’s. However, her story offers the hope that only a God who was born out of brokenness could offer to messed-up, sinful people. Nothing is ever too far gone that God cannot redeem it. If you think you have messed up too much, your family is too dysfunctional to ever be happy, or there is no hope for your situation, take heart from Tamar’s life. As long as Jesus lives, there is hope.
His Song in the Night 