Worship: By My Attire?

¹⁷ And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Colossians 3:17

I grew up in a conservative, Baptist church, for which I am thankful. Had two ladies not knocked on my door on a Saturday morning visit, I might not have had the privilege of knowing Jesus as I do today. I am thankful for the influence that these women and others poured into me, showing me what a life devoted to Jesus looked like. They not only talked about Jesus like they loved Him, but they also proved it by their love and service to others. However, some things I took away from that church were not necessarily said out loud. I made assumptions by observing what people did without understanding why they did them. One of those things was the motive for dressing modestly.

I grew up in the culotte-era of conservative Baptist churches. The female teenagers were expected to wear skirts or culottes to youth activities and camps rather than pants. Jean skirts and poofy-legged split skirts were all the rage in my youth group; but not outside it. I still recall the faces of my peers at parks or school activities making fun of my attire.  It only bothered me a little because I believed I was pleasing God by my choice to wear a “modest” outfit, never mind the less-than-modest outcome of playing sports when your loose clothing flies up in the wind.

As I grew up and moved away from my home church, I took my modest clothing philosophy with me. With that philosophy came some prideful conclusions, such as, only women who exclusively wore skirts were godly enough to teach me about God’s Word. Tight-fitting clothing was an abomination to God, and those who did not choose to adhere to my standards of modesty did not fit the Titus 2 model as mentors. When my family began to seek support for our mission work, I learned quickly that even my high standards were often too low for some churches. Questionnaires warned that certain churches could not support a family if a wife wore pajama pants to bed!

When we arrived on the mission field, however, our mentors there related a problem with wearing long jean skirts, as I would be dressing like certain cult members who operated churches in the area. This was a hard pill to swallow, as jean skirts had become part of my identity at this point. However, for the sake of the Gospel, I set my jean skirts aside.

When we came back home from the mission field, no longer at the mercy of people’s expectations of how missionaries should dress, I began wearing anything I wanted to wear within the modicum of modesty. Pants were no longer modesty’s enemy in my mind. In fact, they seemed to make more sense for certain activities and weather patterns. For church youth activities, my girls were still asked to wear knee-length shorts, which could only be bought in the boys’ section of the big box stores. This raised the question of why we were buying clothes for girls that were made for boys? Wasn’t that more unbiblical than wearing loose-fitting pants? My modesty standards were again shifting.

Finally, the Lord challenged me with the life of Daniel. Daniel was moved away from his godly home at a young age to serve in a heathen king’s country. Every belief Daniel held was challenged as Nebuchadnezzar sought to erase the Jewish boy’s heritage. Yet, Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not eat the king’s meat. Why did he decide not to eat the king’s meat? Because He believed God was worthy to be glorified by keeping the dietary law God had given in the best way he could in his circumstances.

⁸ But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself. Daniel 1:8

Suddenly, after years of trying to hold myself and others to a perfect standard, I realized that my motives had been more about pleasing myself than bringing God glory. Jesus died so that I could be free from a never-ending set of rules meant to earn His favor. I was now free to bring Him glory with my clothing choices as a form of worship, just as Daniel chose to eat as a form of worship.

Everything I do is meant to bring God glory. It is not supposed to be an attempt to receive His blessings based on my perfect standards. My motives had been wrong all along. From that day forward, I have purposed to dress in a way that reflects my status as a daughter of the King of Kings. It takes so much of the stress out of making sure everything is perfect.

And this is the point of this personal story today. The reason daughters of the King should choose “modest” attire is to glorify God. Modesty in no way can be measured by inches, or looseness of fit, or in a certain type of clothing. Modesty is a humility that desires to reflect the heart of God, without drawing undue attention to oneself. Why we wear what we wear and do what we do should always reflect our love and honor for the One who loves us so much He gave His own Son to have a relationship with us. There is no way to earn His favor. There is no way to please Him more, except with faith that is focused on Jesus. Our choice of attire is only another opportunity to worship. If we make it about any other reason, we have missed an opportunity to glorify our amazing God.

Necessary disclaimer: Schools, Colleges, and Youth Groups must define modesty standards amongst students. Even golf courses and some restaurants have rules on what can be worn in their establishments. This post is in no way attempting to strip ministries of authority in defining what they choose modesty to look like. Each family unit must also create the boundaries of modesty for their home. Obedience to authority brings glory to God. However, what I am encouraging is a thorough discussion of the motives behind the rules so no young person walks away with the Pharisaical view of modesty that I held for decades of my life.

One final disclaimer: A sad statement I have heard many times is that a woman’s attire is responsible for men’s lust. When Jesus pointed out that when a man looked at a woman with lust, it equated adultery in God’s eyes, He placed no disclaimers that lust could be justified if a woman was wearing less than modest clothing. Every man and woman is personally responsible for his or her own choices. If a woman in flip flops makes a man think of her in the shower, it is that man whose mind needs the purifying, not the woman who needs to change her shoes.

For more study on modesty, I will include a PDF of verses to study below. I know I have posted about attire on other occasions, so forgive me if this is a repeat of a previous thought. However, I do have new readers jumping in quite often, so I pray it is helpful for those who might be wrestling with attire choices. Please feel free to comment below with any thoughts, positive or negative, you might have on this subject.

Have a blessed day, my friends.