Bright, happy faces next to schools are again populating my social media feed. The school year is kicking off and most families eagerly fit the routines back into place. This new year will bring good and bad, learning and maturity, struggles and frustrations. Daily interactions with teachers and other students will challenge your child to assess himself.
“Do I measure up?” “Is what Billy Bob said about me true?” “Will I ever be smart, athletic, or good enough to fit in?”
How a child’s inner dialogue orders itself depends a lot on the dialogue at home. Intentionally building up a child strengthens him for these transitions.
As Solomon wrote in Proverbs 27:21,
As the fining pot for silver, and the furnace for gold;
so is a man to his praise.
People rise to meet their expectations. If you have ever been recognized at work for the way you have led a project or displayed good character, this likely motivated you to do more for your company. A boss who never seems happy with accomplishments or one who berates his staff regularly will rarely have a staff striving to do more. Praise motivates.
This is not an “everyone-gets-a-participation-prize” type of praise, however. Like the blessings bestowed on the children of Israel by Moses in Deuteronomy 33, this kind of praise is specific. It recognizes the natural strengths of the individual. It sees the benefits of the inborn temperaments. It challenges the child to see his strengths while also being made aware of how any weaknesses could harm him in the long run.
As a parent myself, I have fallen into the trap of harping, nagging, and focusing on my children’s shortcomings. My oldest respectfully asked me one day if she ever did anything right. It was an eye-opening question, as I took a step back to consider how I spoke to my children. Were my words building up or tearing down? That day was a needed turning point in our home and Proverbs 27:21 played a big part in the transition. I began to look for things to praise. I asked God for wisdom to address the negatives. Intentional praise changed my relationship with my children, and it gave them more confidence in their school relationships. Praise motivated them to rise to their expectations rather than to give up in hopelessness.
Many believers are first-generation Christians learning to order their homes Biblically. A godly home was likely not modeled, nor does godly parenting come naturally. Like any other point of growth, a godly home takes intentionality. Thankfully, God has promised wisdom whenever His children ask. James 1:5
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
Every parent is on a journey of growth. Maybe you did not grow up in a godly home, but you can start now to make your home a place of blessing and joy. Like me, one moment can be the turning point that remakes the future. Why not today?
Have a blessed school year, my friends!
Erica B.
His Song in the Night 